Meaning behind the Mess

I gotta be honest. I really don’t have a flying fart what I’m talking about most of the time and I am certainly not a doctor.  That being said, I am going to give my opinion and advice on the meaning behind your mess. This is my disclaimer of sorts… I don’t want your crappy comments analyzing my analysis. Get your own blog.

If your home isn’t messy, you just like organizing and getting some tips… don’t waste your time reading this one. No cool tips here. Sorry, I’ll give some tips tomorrow.

There are generally four reasons for clutter. Your clutter may be a combination of one or all of the reasons.

The first reason is insecurity. Geez, I hate this word, but I just can’t think of another one to describe what I mean so I’ll give some examples. If you look at a pile of clutter and think “I just don’t know where to start” or “I don’t know how to organize” or “Being messy is just the way I am” these are all part of the first reason. I guess a better way to describe it would be “changing your state of mind”. Alright, here is my advice. Start small. Start by making your bed. Take your time and make it perfect. Now stand back and say to yourself “my bed looks so nice and inviting. My room is my sanctuary”. The next day, make your bed and put away your clothes. Repeat positive thoughts. A super organized person doesn’t possess some natural instinct that you don’t have, they just take a little time everyday to get there.

Remember this important rule: TOUCH IT ONCE.  If you come across an item that doesn’t belong wherever you found it, stop and put it away. Don’t put it in another pile or move it to another room to “deal with it later”. Moving clutter from room to room is not dealing with the problem. Touch it once. If you have a big job, you can use a bag or box for stuff that belongs in “other rooms” but put everything away before you go to bed that night.  When you are decluttering, always have three bags or boxes with you. One for donation, one for other rooms and one for trash. Take the one for donation right out to your car, trash to the trash and put all the other room stuff away.

When in doubt, throw it out.  I love this saying. Seriously, if you’re not sure if you need to keep something, you don’t.
 
K. I’m focusing. Reason number two. Procrastination. This is one of my biggest pet peeves. I’m not saying I never do it, but I really try hard not to. Sure, I’m a slobby pig sometimes, but I try to never put stuff off more then a day.  If you struggle with this one, make a daily to-do list. Make a realistic list. If you really only have an hour or two, make the list short. Perhaps “Put away all clothes” and “Purge 21 items” is all you have on your list. Now, do it before you go to bed. Have to stay up an extra 30 minutes? Sorry. Suck it up Princess. Repeat tomorrow with other items on your list. Can’t find the time? Shut the damn television off, it’s melting your brain and making you dumb and lazy. Did I just say that? Yes, yes I did.

Reason number three. You’re a perfectionist. Believe it or not, perfectionists often have a lot of clutter. If you say to yourself or other family members “if your not going to do it right, don’t do it at all” you might be a perfectionist. If you are waiting until you buy a better dresser, find the perfect shelving system, see a friend who would love that pile of junk you no longer want…you might be a perfectionist. Perfectionists want everything a certain way and won’t do it unless they have the time and resources they need to do it “right”. This of course means, it never gets done and your home looks like a bomb went off.  I am not a perfectionist at all. I’m a half asser by nature so it is very hard for me to understand this one. If you take the time to do your hair and iron your clothes everyday but you had to find those clothes in a big ol’ pile on the floor… well, do you see the irony in that?  My husband is a double “P”er, which just happens to be my two biggest pet peeves. A procrastinating perfectionist.  Ohhhhhh the insanity of it all. My advice for the perfectionist.  Lower your standards and do it half ass. No time to fold all your laundry the way you like it done? Toss that shit in the drawers without folding it at all. It’s in a pile in your laundry basket or on top of that chair anyways, at least have it away. Baby steps. Eventually you will find a routine and have some extra time to fine tune your organization.

Last, but not least, the hoarder. Hoarders just have a problem letting go and making decisions on items. There is usually a fear that you may need it one day, or the thought that you are saving money by holding on to it. Sometimes it is sentimental and other times it is just a comfort thing. If you are holding onto broken stuff, you are a hoarder. If you have a broken vaccum, power tool, fan or kids toys but you are holding onto it with the intent that you may fix it one day, you are a hoarder. In most cases it is cheaper to buy a new one than it is to fix the old one. And lets be honest, if it’s been a year or more, you’re never going to do it. Perhaps you had a time in your life where you sturggled with money and were not able to buy things you wanted. This may cause you to hold onto things you don’t need and even take donations of things that you don’t even want just to have that feeling of “having”.  Did you suffer a loss of your belongings say, in a fire or loose a loved one? Sometimes loss can make us feel like holding onto stuff so we never have to feel that feeling again. Do you see memories in your items and are you afraid you may forget the memory if you get rid of the item? Whatever your reasons for hoarding, purging is super hard for you and even causes you anxiety. Have someone help with this process and focus on the reasons why you want to clear the clutter. Will it improve your family life in your home? Give you much needed space? Improve your relationship? Focus on the goal and always have someone help you make the decisions. Too embarassed to have a friend or family member help you? Hire a professional. Nip this in the bud before it takes over your life.

K. There. I broke it down for you. I should get paid for this shit, no? Tell you what. Give me some money and I’ll come to your house and tell you what your problem is. Hell, I’ll do it for free!