Appalling Dump Heap on Wheels

I am such a disgusting pig in so many ways. My husband often calls me the cleanest dirty person he has ever met.  Case in point, my van and my purse. Despite my good intentions, I have the grossest, most ralph worthy vehicle I have ever seen, and my purse….well, you’d have to see it to believe it.

My van is so much better in the winter, the smell I mean. This past summer we had a few ripe road trips. It’s not that it is full of garbage or anything (well, ok, it is), it’s just that I let the girls eat and drink in the van…and sometimes the occasional chicken nugget, timbit or fruit snack goes MIA. Add to that spilled coffee and chocolate milk and you have a recipe for …making my kids actually gag……

And then there is my purse. It has a tendency to become a garbage pail with straps. “Done with that candy?” oh, in the purse until I get to a garbage…runny nose, no problem….in the purse the snotty kleenex goes… Extra pull ups, wipes, receipts, gum, cell phone, lip stick, loose change….what is this? I have no idea.  The point is, why would anyone carry around a garbage pail on their shoulder? Good question.  And my wallet? OMG. My last wallet was beautiful, but my cards fell out every other damn day. I would shove them back in, all in one slot, and have to pull them all out and go through them every time I would hear “Do you have an Optimum card”?  After pulling everything out and rummaging like a lunatic…I’d finally give up and mutter….”not with me”.  Oh, the shame…..

I did, however, get a new wallet from my brother-in-law for Christmas and it has transformed my shopping experience. No more lost cards, no more rummaging….and it has inspired me to keep my purse clean and organized! After countless wallets, I have found the holy grail. Thank you Ian. My new wallet has three separate sections for cards. One for debit and credit, one for ID and one for store cards. The slots are tight enough that they won’t fall out, but not so tight they are hard to remove.  There are two zippers compartments, one for money and one for receipts…everyone has different needs in a wallet, and this one fits mine to a tee…..Did I mention it is red and matches my coat? The small things excite me….

Now, if only I could stumble upon something to transform my van from appalling dump-heap into a clean and organized wallet on wheels…..perhaps next Christmas!