Capitalize on being a weirdo

When I was younger I sold security systems door-to-door for VoxCom Security. To be honest, I was really freaking good at it. I had a unique ability to terrify nice people into thinking their home was a beacon for criminals. But the first day it poured rain, I moved on to yet another crappy job in a long list of crappy jobs.

I have never really discovered what it is I want to “do” with my life. At 32, I feel like I have long since missed the bus and I have no idea how I’m going to catch up. I certainly can’t run after it, hard work and sweat make me queasy.

Two nights ago I had a terrifying experience that may have lead me to an epiphany. Joe was out of town and I decided to watch a semi scary movie. Alright, it was Tucker and Dale vs Evil, not really scary..but enough gore to get my over active imagination going.

So just as I’m settling into bed, the doorbell rings. It’s after 11:00 and I instantly get freaked out. I creep to the door, hold my breath and open it (fully expecting a Deliverance looking guy with an ax). No one was there.

Not five minutes later the damn doorbell is ringing again. No one there. This goes on for HOURS. Doorbell playing that scary freaking song and me barracking myself and my sleeping girls in my bedroom with a huge ass butcher knife. Yeah, I over react like that.

The next day I’m online researching big ass dogs for sale and security systems. I’m still scared to death and I’ve unplugged the doorbell.

This morning I get a knock and the door, and wouldn’t you know it..It’s the VoxCom Security guy. He tells me there has been a rash of break ins and he’s having a sale on security systems. He is no more than 18 years old and I smile to myself because I realize this little kid is a genius. I ask him point blank if he was the one ringing my doorbell. He has no idea what I am talking about. I laugh hysterically as I realize how many more security systems I could have sold if I had visited the neighbourhoods a few days earlier terrorizing them in the middle of the night. Pure freaking genius.

Turns out this particular kid was not ringing my doorbell for hours in the middle of the night..the batteries were just dying on the wireless outside doorbell. In fact, I’m pretty sure the kid thinks I’m bat-shit crazy for laughing hysterically and going on about how throwing bricks and ringing doorbells being a gold mine opportunity for him.

My point is, maybe I don’t have to find a regular “real” job. Maybe I can do something industrious by just thinking outside the box a little. God knows I’m a complete weirdo, who knows…maybe I can capitalize on that… I am huge slob who also happens to be a giant clean freak…yes, it is possible and yes, it is exhausting. I’m insanely lazy but I am also incapable of sitting still…so that’s a thing. I am an extreme extrovert with an overwhelming need for attention…but I can’t stand other people and I don’t like leaving the house. I wonder if I could get a job as an actual, real life Oxy-Moron? I’ll have to look into that.

Here is your organizing tip (I know how testy some of you get when I don’t give you one in my blogs), this is an organizing blog afterall.

Set a reminder in your phone to replace batteries in the wireless things in your home on a regular basis. Every 6 months you should replace batteries in fire alarms, carbon dioxide testers…and wireless door bells.


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