So it is time for me to pull back the curtain. I receive a lot of messages from other mommy’s saying things like “I just can’t keep up” or “How do you get it all done with three kids? I can’t get organized no matter how hard I try”. Every time I receive a message from another mom that just doesn’t feel like she is good enough, my heart breaks a little bit and I am filled with guilt. I have no place being someone that anyone looks up to. What you see on my YouTube videos is not the whole picture. It is a piece of me, the best part of me. It is me sharing something with you that has worked for our family and made my life better. I don’t make a habit of showing you the ugly, broken part of my life.
All of the other bloggers, YouTubers and moms updating their Facebook statuses are doing the same exact thing. Pinning pictures of their perfect cakes, uploading magazine worthy shots of their beautiful children and showing us their perfect homes or amazing craft projects. We do this because we want to inspire others and share what makes us happy, thinking that it will make others happy as well. I don’t make YouTube videos because I am perfect (or even to pretend that I am), I make them so I can share with you a little piece of something that has brought me joy.
I wonder though, if all of this sharing of positive and happy things is making people a little sad. I wonder if I have ever made someone else feel bad about their own life after watching me gush about mine. The reality is, my own life is far from perfect. I am far from perfect. So here you go, I am pulling back the curtain for you. I want you to see that you are amazing. You are enough. Never compare your life to someone else’s, because you never know what is behind their curtain.
I feel like a terrible mother, every.single.day. I don’t spend enough one-on-one time with my children. I don’t read to them anymore and I hardly ever play board games. I no longer sit on the floor and do circle time with Milo, he is three and doesn’t even know his alphabet or how to spell his name yet! I feel so bad about that.
I am eighty pounds overweight and I do not have any desire to exercise. Other people care way more about my weight than I do and despite my family and friends constantly giving me advice or encouragement, I just don’t have the motivation to make weight loss a priority.
I do have a clean house and organized home, but it is old and dated. I hate our white carpets and the old, faded wood trim and doors. My bathrooms are original 1979 tile and I’d give anything to gut them! I never show you my horrible laundry room and the garage….omg, the garage is a nightmare. I only show you the nice areas of my home and I apologize for that.
The reason my home is clean and organized is that I am home ALL DAY LONG. It is literally my job. My only job during the day is to take care of Milo and do housework. I am failing miserably at the first one. Yesterday, I stayed in bed half the day while he played. I got up to get him food and take him to the bathroom, but then I went right back to my bed to surf the web. I was having a bad day. I was feeling like a crappy human and therefore I was behaving like an even crappier human. I have these days more often than I would like to admit.
I am a terrible cook, I am overweight and I buy too many things while not earning enough money. These three things make me feel like an incredibly bad wife. I wish I could be better for my husband, but despite my best efforts, I continue to struggle with these things.
My point is, I am certain YOU are better than ME in A LOT of ways. Please, never, ever compare yourself to anyone else. You never know what is behind their curtain.